BACKGROUND
Beast Body Epic is a book-length collection of long poems circling around my near-death health crisis in 2009. I drafted it in 2012/2013. This is the first of a series of notes on my journey from writing, submitting the work to a bunch of publishers for consideration and my eventual decision to self-publish it.
These notes are aimed at poets in general and in particular, those with health issues who wish to publish their work. I thought it would be helpful for others to hear of my experiences. I’m going to be honest with you and with myself, including all the little moments of self-doubt, imposter syndrome, etc.
The manuscript began as a 48-page long poem written in 48 hours in 2013, while listening to Nine Inch Nails, the Downward Spiral. Since my health crisis, I had struggled with trying to write about it. I wrote a blog, Firebirds and Phoenix from January 2010 to February 2011 to chronicle my recovery and received a lot of response from others who had also gone through near-death health crises.
I submitted a few excerpts of the draft MS which were published online or as a chapbook (Aftermath, or Scenes of a Woman Convalescing – above/ground press.) The manuscript went through huge structural changes after a dozen rejections. A few times it was on the short list of publications for consideration. I worked with two editors, received government funding and read early drafts at the VERSeOttawa Hall of Honour Induction Ceremony and on Parliament Hill. I withdrew the manuscript a couple of times as well.
RATIONALE FOR SELF-PUBLISHING
A few times when the manuscript was rejected, editors told me that there were previously published poets in their catalogues with new work which they had to publish. BBE made shortlists a couple of times, including one time when a planned publishing endeavour fell through. Chaudiere Books, my publisher for Kiki, was also interested in the manuscript but sadly had to end their operations.
When I withdrew the manuscript after a year of non-response by a publisher, I began to wonder if I really wanted to publish the book with a publisher. This material is close to my heart. I have very specific thoughts on design. Even if I submitted it again, it would take at least two years or more to publish. In 2023, I turn sixty. I wanted to have this book out by then. It’s important to me. I want it to come out in November, which marks the anniversary of my survival. I’ve read several times from the draft and each time, members of the audience have confided their own experiences with severe health crises. The work resonates for many people, and I believe it needs to be out there. It can’t wait any longer.
PLANS
Yesterday, (December 5, 2022), I bit the bullet and registered the ISBN. I feel like there’s no turning back now and I don’t want to. It’s a new adventure!
I’m hoping to have the final MS ready for proofing by a dear friend by the end of the year or sometime in January and I also have blurb acceptances, but am willing to entertain more! Charles, my husband, is doing the design and layout and I’ve gotten a great quote from Coach House for printing. I’m thinking I’ll make 200 copies. I will publish it with AngelHousePress.
I’d love to have launches in Ottawa, Toronto, and Montreal and possibly online for a UK event. I’ve started to contact reading series organizers and friends. I’d also like the book to be in a few bookstores, if that’s possible at all.
SELF-DOUBT AND IMP0STER SYNDROME
Yes, I have that little voice inside my head that tells me the work must be shite if it’s been rejected so many times, not to mention the feeling that self-publishing a book is somehow of less value or interest, but I’m going to go ahead with this. I don’t believe the work is shite, and I’ve had a lot of positive responses from publishers, editors, fellow poets, and audience members. I’ve also got over twenty years of experience as a writer, editor and publisher. [she says to herself quietly, remember that!]
Is self-publishing of lesser value? This is something I have had to work through. It’s a bias. If the book is well-designed, well-edited and well-supported by its author and community, I see no reason why it can’t be a great opportunity for the author and readers. It won’t be eligible for any prizes, I suppose, but I’m ok with that. It wouldn’t be an expectation of mine anyways.
I still have plenty of other spines and staples out there, and several manuscripts that I will submit to publishers I’d like to work with, but Beast Body Epic began in 2013, that’s nine years ago and I made a promise to myself that I would publish it by the time I turned sixty. Kiki came out just after I turned fifty. It’s time for this book to be out in the world.
BLAME
I don’t blame publishers for not publishing this work. I am an avid poetry reader, especially Canadian poetry, and I have loved a lot of the books that have come out over the years that I’ve been sending this out, including those by publishers that have rejected BBE.
There’s nothing anti-publisher in my wanting to self-publish this work. Time, money (lack of funding especially), lack of staff, the pandemic…all go into issues with publication these days.
Fellow writers who are trying to get your books published, please don’t be discouraged by my experiences with BBE. I think it’s possible to find the right match for a manuscript. But also, consider self-publishing. I’ll share what I’m learning along the way. I’ve self-published a lot of chapbooks and other work, so this is not completely new to me.
YOUR HELP
If you have any advice to offer about anything and believe me I’ll be picking your brain…please let me know. I need to set up readings and try to sell the book, do some promo and probably a bunch of other things I have no clue about. In early 2023, I will be making videos, setting up promo activities and sharing opportunities to pre-order the book. If you have any advice at all, please chime in. I’m here to listen and learn.
Dear readers, at this point, many of you know my penchant for joy and whimsy. I’m excited about the opportunity and I hope you are too. Somehow, I managed to survive even though all the odds were against me. This book is important to me.
Stay tuned for a helluva celebration, darlings.
Hi, Amanda -- If you're interested in promoting your book during some online readings in Canada or the US, let me know and I can e-introduce you to the hosts of some of these reading series. Hiram (HLAREW@gmail.com)