Taking a leaf from rob mclennan, who often posts about his birthday celebrations, here is a note on mine.
On my birthday this year, the sun shone. I dressed in whimsical outfit for a favourite wander with Charles along Upper Lorne and over to Chinatown where we stopped in Kowloon for ingredients for the lunch he was making me that day, a favourite: shrimp and air-fried tofu with bokchoy and other delicious veg.
I’ve decided that I will wear red on my birthday, at least this birthday. Red for love, as cheesy as that sounds, for vibrancy.
I have many playlists and several for my birthday. My home playlist includes 75 songs, including many by Ron Sexsmith, such as In A Flash from his album Whereabouts which is a sad and beautiful record about autumn.
“Think of all the strangers you've encountered/In cafes or subway trains/Or lined up at this water fountain/One drink and on your way/In a flash, in a flash/There one moment and gone in a flash.”
The song was written about Jeff Buckley, who died by drowning in 1997, and whose voice continues to bring beauty into the world.
Even though my birthday is a time for celebration, I can’t help but recognize and acknowledge the times we are in. I know that people are going through rough times, death of loved ones, sickness, injustice, losing homes, livelihoods, so many troubles. It’s not an easy time. For all who are suffering, I send you love.
''With the truth so dull and depressing, the only working alternative is wild bursts of madness and filigree.'' Hunter S. Thompson
It’s interesting to me how many of the songs on my birthday playlist have a sadness to them. I celebrate my existence, all the while knowing that I am lucky to be here, how close I have come, how life can end at any moment. I will never take that for granted. My life or yours. I am here to live and love as much as possible.
Last year’s playlist, 58 Reasons to Celebrate is still on Spotify for your listening pleasure.
Every year since my health crisis in 2009, Charles has baked a New York style cheesecake for my birthday. It has been a lovely ritual. The recipe comes from the Joy of Cooking and it is exceptionally elaborate but he has mastered it. Lemon-flavoured shortbread for the crust, a golden top. It’s a delicious and beautiful work of art. We didn’t eat the whole thing ourselves, but shared it with others. He would take pieces to work to give to colleagues, and to friends he’d made on the bus. This year with my diagnosis of diabetes at the end of March, it was the first thing I thought about in terms of what I wouldn’t be able to have. It made me feel sad.
Over time, since the diagnosis, we have figured out how to change our diet so that I can have even blood sugar levels. In the process we have learned about delicious alternatives to many meals. My dietician has insisted that I should still be able to eat a cupcake or something on my birthday, but I have to tell you, I don’t like cupcakes. I don’t like icing at all. I could have just had some kind of little sweet or cake, but I didn’t want to. Instead for lunch, Charles made one of our favourite dishes that he has come up with to create a low-carb and delicious replacement for some of the Asian food we loved to have, which I can’t eat now because the high carbs of rice or noodles spike my blood sugar levels. Over time, he has developed an air-fried tofu and stir fry dish full of veg and shrimp and low sugar sauces that is divine. That is what we had for lunch. I didn’t feel at all deprived because I didn’t have some kind of cake. I had many years of the cheesecake. Now it’s time for something new. And this was delicious.
In the evening we watched my favourite movie, Where’d You Go, Bernadette. I love this film so much. It is about a woman who has become unhinged and sad because she is no longer able to be creative in her life. I love Cate Blanchette and she is so great in this film. The novel is by Maria Semple.
“That's right,' she told the girls. 'You are bored. And I'm going to let you in on a little secret about life. You think it's boring now? Well, it only gets more boring. The sooner you learn it's on you to make life interesting, the better off you'll be.”
― Maria Semple, Where'd You Go, Bernadette
I have an amazingly interesting life. I get to write and see some of my work published. I get to play. I get to publish artists and writers who i admire, and hang out with fascinating creators too, wander about this beautiful city, and spend my life with my darling husband.
I am so fucking grateful to be here. Thank you to everyone who has offered birthday wishes and greetings. Thanks for your friendship and creativity, fellow creators. The best gift you could give me for my birthday is to keep making art, keep going. Art is the beating heart of the Earth. It’s what keeps us revolving around the sun. It is made from love. It is what makes the brain grow. It fills the world with colour and compassion.
“Oh, I’m longing to be out in the sweet unknown.” Heartless Bastards, Could Be So Happy.
“To Live Is To Fly,” Townes Van Zandt
“The sole purpose of human existence is to kindle a light in the darkness of mere being.” Carl Jung
A wonderful read, Amanda. Thank you for sharing your day in such brilliantly lit prose. So much to think about and wonderful photos.
Happy birthday!
Happy Birthday ! Thanks for this great post today Amanda