Remembering Ron

a dear friend and my former husband

Image description: In Paris, I am in a yellow raincoat, Ron is in a red rain coat. Beside us are two people consulting a map. In the background, a sign reading Glaces a l’italienne and a carousel. More people.

On July 12, 2024, my dear friend and former husband, Ron Saper died. Here is his obituary. I grieve his death and will miss him greatly. I send condolences to his wife, Celine, his children and his mother, siblings, friends and family.

I won’t deny that the end of a marriage doesn’t come with a certain amount of acrimony and upheaval but after that period was over, Ron and I resumed our relationship as dear friends, and I loved him, will always love him and be grateful for the time we had together.

I celebrate him through remembrance of these times:

The day we met in a self-serve gas station where I worked (October 23, 1982).

Watching the World According to Garp at the Bloor theatre and eating at Frank Vetere’s, first date. (1982)

Trips to Winnipeg in the winter, his parents greeting us with blankets and winter coats (80s/90s).

Trips to the family cottage in Gimili (80s/90s).

The Royal Albert Hotel in Winnipeg to see his brother Zal’s band perform (80s).

Christmas in Winnipeg where we exchanged second-hand gifts that we owned and loved. (80s).

Ron sliding down the Second City fire pole. (80s)

All the flowers he had delivered to my Mississauga town house (80s)

Riding on the back of his 80 Yamaha CC motorcycle after seeing films in Streetsville and back to his apartment above a garage (80s)

Rambling along old railway bridges near our first apartment in Toronto (80s)

Winning The University of Waterloo Systems Design Engineering Havenger Scunt (80s)

Ron introducing me to Dim Sum at Wah Ming across the street from our apartment in the Married Student Apartments in Waterloo. (80s)

The night before our wedding, wandering through downtown Toronto with James, Michelle and Zal, his siblings and finding multi-coloured roses that the flower sellers were throwing away. They smelled beautiful and we kept them.

Eating wedding cake by campfire light and playing pinball games on our honeymoon. (1986).

The light in his eyes as he sailed in a regatta during a lightning storm in Provincetown, Massachusetts (90s).

The surprise 30th birthday party he had for me at my friend Pat’s place downtown. It was a Scrabble tournament. There were prizes for those who spelled words like “wine". (1993).

Sleeping bags on the floor during the flood monitoring work of RADARSAT at Vantage Point International, the business we ran together (90s).

Rushing up to the Gatineau Satellite Station to get data (90s).

Trip to Westport, Ontario where we saw the Northern Lights. (90s).

Winterlude, listening to Prairie Oyster in the cold February night. (90s).

Our California road trip along the Coast Highway, taking pot luck in hotels, staying in fancy places for cheap and cheap places by the beach. (90s)

Sharing the top berth in a Via Rail Train en route to Halifax.(90s)

Playing our own pinball game, Solar Ride into the night. (80s/90s)

Smashing the little clay cups on New Year’s Eve at Chez Elena on the rooftop patio in Puerto Vallarta.

Trips to Cape Cod, Georgia, Florida, Michigan, Kentucky, Quebec City, France, Portugal, Mexico. (90s).

Barbecuing cedar smoked salmon in our backyard in Gloucester (90s).

Ron helping me to move and hanging curtains for me on Slater Street, my first solo apartment. (2000).

Breakfast at the Dill Pickle (2000).

Going to a Ron Sexsmith concert in Wakefield, Quebec with Ron and friends. Ron hired a van to take us there. This was after we separated. We hung out and a girl asked for his number. (2000).

His assistance to Charles to reach my family when I had my near-death health crisis (2009).

Our many café conversations at Planet Coffee, Art House Café, and various other cafes over the years. (2000s).

Breakfast at Perkins after accompanying him to his oncologist’s where he received good news (2000s).

Meeting Celine at the John Newlove Poetry Award and their attendance at the event. (2000s).

The last visit with Charles and me, drinking lapsang souchong tea, Ron’s favourite tea. His goodbye hug at the door.   (2024).

Our final messages on FB in June where we both said, I love you. (2024).

Image description: Ron and I after our wedding. He is wearing a grey suit and a red and white striped tie. I am in a cream coloured gown and hat, and carrying a bouquet of roses.

There are many more memories that will come to me about Ron. I will treasure and savour them.