Sex Playlist
IMAGE DESCRIPTION: red lilies against a grey bricklike wall. a few unopened lilies and green leaves and stems.
For those who don’t like to hear about my sex life, you’ve probably already unsubscribed or know which posts to avoid.
I am sure it comes as no surprise, dear readers, that I have playlists for almost every occasion or that I have several playlists for sex. My main playlist is five hours and twenty-six minutes long with sixty eight songs, and that number is mere chance, rather than deliberate. It is the playlist that Charles and I often enjoy. A second sex playlist from 2018 has 71 songs and is 4 hours and 58 minutes. Both of these are on my home computer and can be played in all the rooms of my apartment. I also have several Spotify sex playlists, which I’ve included below.
What I want in a lover: someone who is comfortable in their own skin and takes joy in it, in sharing their body with me and in showing me how they like to be pleasured; a lover of receiving and giving caresses over the whole body. learning erogenous zones is one of the most delightful experiences when in bed with a new lover. and in bed with a familiar lover, to return again and again. when i’ve been able to explore a lover, i have found that each person has different sensitive spots that sing when my mouth or fingers find them. that’s very satisfying.
life is so fucking short, i want to rejoice in it, give pleasure and joy to all who wish to receive such from me. whether in my bedroom or on a walk, in the form of sex and conversation, comfort, art, music, literature, film discussions, colour, texture, food, drink, in an open field or on soft sweet scented sheets. I love the earthy nature of sex. I love its scents, its physicality, its materiality, its variety. it’s life. Sex makes me know I’m alive.
desire, a footnote is for my 6-chapbook length long poem about my return to the dating apps in 2025. the playlist has a lot of fuzzy reverb, which i find to be a sexy sound.
Tea Kink Flowers is a companion to a short story I wrote that I was hoping would end up being more…
this one’s obvious, 69 sexy songs
2018 sex songs was an attempt to make a playlist for new lovers, not wanting it to be overly sentimental or smarmy.
One of the reasons that I enjoy playing music during sex is because I am a sensualist who likes to set a mood and to enjoy a long slow mutual exploration, some variations in rhythm, depending on what we’re doing. i even have a cool down, conversation section at the end. I like to play my playlists in the order that I create them.
Here are a few favs from my sex playlists:
Tongues and Tails is a great album for sex and otherwise. Introduced to me by B, a lover in 2000/2001, Sophie B. Hawkins’ cover of the Bob Dylan song is so damn hot to make out to. If you want to do a deep dive into the unusual imagery of the song, you can do so here. But for me, it’s Hawkins’ throaty voice, the pace of the song and the feeling of wanting someone so bad.
On the same album, this song was written by Hawkins and has some lyrics you either find sexy or awkward. My favourite word in the song, “shucks.”
A long-term lover introduced me to this song and I have some beautiful memories of tasting each other’s bodies, lips etc.
I find this to be a good song to play fairly early on in the getting to know the body phase. It’s a song that works with the tension of taking off the clothes, the surprise of seeing the new lover naked, and their seeing me for the first time. It’s joyous, sexy, has a good beat. Makes me smile.
Another good song for early on in the sexual exploration. And it has a great sense of rebellion. Anyone who sleeps with me understands that I am someone who defies conventional ideas of what a woman my age is supposed to be like. This makes me feel wild and fun and defiant, a good state to be in for pleasuring my partner.
Good reverb and the drone of guitar here, the vocals are gorgeous. Plus it’s seven minutes long. Love the sudden speed increase. It makes me feel like this is the last moment, the last chance I’ll have to hold you, to kiss you, to pleasure you. I love that feeling.
Bassekou Kouyate is from Mali and his voice is so alluring. Poye 2 is from his third album, Jama Ko. It has a relenting slow pace and evokes the blues. I also find the blues really sexy and those who play the blues very sexy too. The album is apparently a response to the threat of fundamentalism in Mali, according to this write up. I love the fervour of the voices, the relentlessness of the instruments.
Mazzy Star’s Fade into You is probably on every single one of my sex playlists. Voice, rhythm, desire, it’s all there. When I moved into my first apartment alone in 2000, I bought a big beautiful queen size bed from Rooms in the Byward Market, some purple velvet and gold linens for my bed, two dozen pink roses and a red cordless phone. I burned incense and candles all night long, stayed up and drank a lot of lapsang souchong tea. My bedroom was a revolving door. I doubt I had a good way to play music back then, but I think of that early time of being free and wild and it brings me great joy.
I love the extremes of this song from the David Lynch album, Dark Night of the Soul, given away for free at one point. Every time I’m with you, we get fucked up. This is the story of my life with a few former lovers or not quite lovers I still feel heartsick and lusty over.
hypnotic, mesmerizing, repetitive. over and over, kisses, changes in position. it’s all fun :)
I added this song last year when I was trying out the dating apps, but I don’t own the album and I just love the reverb here. It’s from the playlist for desire, a footnote, so it probably never got played during my sexual activities, just my writing, but for me, writing about desire is a sexy thing to do, so i enjoy listening to this playlist when i’m writing sex stuff, memories and wishes.
a beloved introduced me to Pixies and Frank Black/Black Francis, and the main thing is there are some rhythms that work really well for wild abandon in bed, but there’s a lot of experimentation with voice and style, so it can be difficult to choose songs that work for sex…still, worthy of inclusion. i’m still exploring, so this is more of a placeholder.
I am in love with Jeff Buckley’s voice, one of the most beautiful voices in music, in my opinion. Here it is ethereal, angelic, sultry, varying in rhythm, passionate, whispering, vibrato exciting af. The versatility and intensity of this song remind me of the versatile and passionate lovers I have had. I have a whole playlist of Jeff Buckley songs for sex. That playlist has 17 songs on it and is 1 hour and 21 minutes long.
Good sex like life combines all the elements: fire, water, earth and air. The cello of Maya Beiser evokes these elements for me. The fire of her playing, the earthy woodiness of the cello, the pace as fluid as water or air. I hear in this music a hypnotic sound that evokes ritual. I love ritualistic aspects of sexual activity with lovers who understand my my nature and able to push boundaries.
Slow and lazy licks and cuddles are good at this point. I love Buddy Guy’s voice and the pace of this song. Plus what better thing to do on a rainy night than indulge in caresses and kisses for hours and hours.
My great loves and I have had sex to this song many times. I love the Nina Simone version, but this cover by David Bowie is the first version I ever heard and consequently the most romantic. The lyrics are beautiful, passionate and romantic.
What I am always hoping for in my sexual engagements with others is a mix of humour, friendship, joy, passion, sensuality, patience and fun. I find it is rare to find lovers who are able to share in the experience as something holistic and life-giving, rather than just a brief fuck in the dark. Those can be fun too, but they don’t require a playlist or even a song, typically.
There are a lot more songs I could mention, but I’m hoping that merely listening to the tunes I’ve listed might have distracted you into a session of pleasure or self-pleasure or reminiscences or whatever you like to do to give and receive joy.
On this rainy day, I have taken a moment to remember lovers, to imagine the lovers I haven’t had, and moon over those who I wish were in my bed.