The Crack of Doom
Beast Body Epic Soundtrack
The book opens with a long poem provoked by my experiences before the upheaval of my health crisis began. Things were already weird before. I was having a lot of conflicts, drinking a lot, feeling pain all over my body, losing my temper with people close to me, crying a lot. I felt like I had no control over my emotions. I dismissed these symptoms, like we do.
On a day in late October, experiencing conflict and being really drunk, I ended up in the planter at the Hurdman Transitway Station, thinking I wanted to run away to Toronto. I somehow managed to call Charles, who came and took me home. The trip to Toronto ended up being one of my recurring delusions in ICU.
I think about how I dismissed these warning signs. Were they warning signs? What could I have done when I was in emotional distress? The pain wasn’t specific, it was all over my body, in my joints, in my bones. I was very tired and weak.
Then I got what we thought was the flu but turned out to be pneumonia. I had a high fever, was exhausted, and had a bad cough that wouldn’t go away.
I’ve learned that the physical and the emotional are related. I didn’t really realize that before my health crisis. I had had a full physical from my then family doctor a few weeks before I got the flu, and she found nothing wrong with me. She was shocked when she learned about my health crisis while I was in ICU. She spoke to the doctors, and the nurse told Charles she had called and been stunned.
I still don’t know what I should have done when I was starting to act out of character for me and feeling pain. I could have made an appointment with my family doctor, I suppose. I’m not sure she would have found anything wrong, but in future, I will probably take any behaviour and pain that is not typical for me as an indication that something is wrong. Since that time, I have a family doctor who is more thorough and responsive to my issues, plus she’s been treating me long after the health crisis.
“The crack of doom
Is coming soon
The crack of doom
Is coming soon
Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha”
The Tiger Lillies